The stuff: I’m an agnostic spiritually open minded Buddhist with a hint of “I believe what I want, when I want, and it might change tomorrow.”
I believe in aliens, interdimensional beings, 5D ascension, karma, psychic phenomena, premonitions, higher self, hauntings, astral projections, the Loch Ness Monster… and this list is starting to sound like a 1984 Ghostbusters resume. I don’t actually believe in the Loch Ness Monster.
I do believe fundamental Christianity and atheism can be very one dimensional and I have a hard time living in one dimension. Do I think all Christianity is wrong? No. Do I think atheists are wrong? No. I do think both groups put those of us spiritually open minded folks into the weird and whacky category. Seems like there’s not a lot of middle ground. Christians think we’re going to hell and atheists think we’re brain damaged. We do just as much research, read as many books, attempt to prove/disprove theories, discuss with like minded individuals, share opposing opinions, agree that cults and organized religion can be a bad thing- but we’re willing to investigate and research what some consider the fantastical and just plain odd.
I’ve lived with fundamental Christians, my Dad was a full time minister into my teens. I traveled with a Church of Christ splinter cult for a month at 11 years old. I’ve tried to write about it without success, it’s too painful to recount and there are things my parents didn’t and still don’t know, stuff I haven’t dealt with in therapy. I returned from that trip asking more questions about Christianity, doubting the “grace” of God, but it took a while.
I fell in love with an atheist at 18. I was long past my one dimensional Christian belief and was easily able to overlook his atheism to see a true, loving heart. I knew when he did something kind it wasn’t so he’d be rewarded with crystal palaces and streets of gold after death- he was kind and loving because it’s the best way to live your life. When he screwed up he was sorry because he knew he’d hurt someone and you hurt yourself when you see those you love hurting. He was and is one of the most genuine people I’ve ever known. It makes me love him more each time I see his atheistic acts of kindness and understanding in action.
“There’s nothing so pure as the kindness of an atheist
A simple act of unselfishness that never has to be repaid “
– Freakwater, Gone to Stay
He came home this week and told me he’d been asked several times what he was doing this weekend and kept answering, “nothing…why?” I kind of just looked at him blankly and asked, “what’s this weekend?” He reminded me it’s Easter. I responded with, “Oh cool, the day I get my Cadbury Egg.” That’s pretty much all it means to me (other than being a reminder of the day I got pregnant my Senior Year of high school, a subject I’ve already written about, but thanks for the reminder brain).
So what’s missing? We get along, we’ve been in love with each other for 25 years, we have great philosophical and theosophical discussions, but when those discussions turn “woo-woo” I see a little twinkle in his eye. He’s known me long enough to know my belief system roams all over the place including some remnants of Christianity, but tends to settle on new age du jour. I don’t know if there’s an afterlife, I don’t believe I’ll know until I die and then I may never know. I do wish my husband was a little more open minded and wasn’t so damn good at shooting down my ideas, but I do appreciate that he listens and doesn’t immediately dismiss what I have to say.
Raising a child as a spiritual person with an atheist results in a strong, questioning, creative individual. He’s a free thinker. He never expected the usual holiday rituals or question why we didn’t go to church, he’s formed his own belief system and knows right from wrong. He practices kindness, love, and generosity. He has a good heart like his dad, just as I expected he would. He’s an imperfect human like his parents with an open mind and an open heart.
He’s an atheist. He sees some of my beliefs as plausible and we also have great discussions about aliens, the acension, energy, and Buddhism. He wears his mala beads every day. I gave him my first strand of beads and when he passed them on I made sure he had another strand within a few days. Each day I see him wearing them my heart swells.
We don’t need a God to love each other, we don’t need to agree on everything, we can respect and question beliefs and facts without argument, disrespect, or violence. Living with a couple atheists as a spiritual nutball is pretty harmonious.
I recommend love and respect no matter what you believe. We don’t live in a world where love can or should be taken for granted. We live in a world where everything we know or think we know is in question and I believe things will be much worse before they’re better.
Balance is important and it’s coming, soon.
I’m not interested in being saved, I’ve done that. I do respect the beliefs of others and hope others will respect mine as well.